So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
