I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
