He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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