Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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