dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
