I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
