The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
How external is "for external use only"?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I believe in your delicious
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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