He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
