Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
