He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
