Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
