I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Mom said you looked used
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
