The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
