Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
