She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
