Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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