He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
