That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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