the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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