I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
