i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
im holly from the hills drunk
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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