So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
