I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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