All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
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