I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I AM VODKA MAN
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
