also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
