he puts the penis in happiness.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
