She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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