He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize