he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
