Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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