the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i dont even know how to be here
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
