she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
