i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
