Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
