yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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