i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm both gender and math confused
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
