And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
