Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
BRING THE BAGELS
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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