if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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