she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize
