your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Randomize
