i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We had sex on a dog bed..
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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