u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
