Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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