so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
