Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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