Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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