He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
