I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
