i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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