he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
